Throwing myself away

I've been feeling the pain of disappointment lately in my sewing. I started working on a waist cincher for a halloween outfit that never got finished. I started by looking at the pattern piece shape on the back of one of my patterns. Very simple pattern really atleast that is what I thought when trying to make my own. I also went online and found written directions on how to make a waist cincher. Everything seemed to be relatively easy, a little bit of math and voila you have a pattern. I'm pretty good at math, I can add and subtract no problem. I have to say I admire the ladies and gents who can take and make their own patterns from looking at something or tracing and tweeking an already made garment. I seem to think I can do this but continue to fail, miserably to say the least. Ahh, but I shall continue on what currently seems to be a futile path in pattern making and altering. I know I have a learning curve to get over and lots of things still to learn.

So my sad face :(, turns into a frustrated face cause I think I finally got the pattern issue fixed. (hanging head) Nope, just a few things and it still needs a crap load of fixin. UGH! I get out the tape measure and start remeasuring me like practically starting from the upper chest and measuring practically every inch to my low waist line. Okay so not that much measuring, but I did measure regular waist, hight waist, low waist and inbetween my reg and low waist. I have a tummy issue, it's fat I mean rather round and plump plus some. It definetly presents a whole level of needing to know things that I don't yet know. I sure hope my new book, Vogue Fitting will help me. I found it at the half price bookstore for about $8. We shall see on my next project that involves making clothes.

Why the post title, throwing myself away, well because I did just that, I threw myself away. All the frustration of not having a duct tape form or even a commercial dress form used to drive me to get depressed about not being able to make all the things I wanted and not enough hands to help me. I surely can't get the hubby or my daughter to help and unfortunately I don't have any sewing friends close by to call on. When I did finally get my hubby to help me make a duct tape double I was happy that he agreed to help me finally and then instantly mortified at my size. I know I'm a big woman and I need to lose weight. I need to lose a lot of weight if I went by that BMI counter thing but I think it is flawed but it still makes you feel less than what you are when you get the results back. Weight can really make you feel like less of a person and that your options are minimal. I want to make lots of beautiful costumes but my weight is holding me back. I see ladies much bigger than myself who look absolutely beautiful and radiant and I wish that was me and then wonder why I can't be happy with me.

After doing all those measurements, I took that measurment tape to my duct tape double, it ranged from 2 inches to 4 inches to big in many spots and the arms and under the arm area, i'm not sure what happened there. I should have been able to unstuff, recut the back area and slip it back on and it fit somewhat, OH HELL NO, it didn't want to fit at all. It pulled my shoulders forward horribly, the stomach area was so out of shape and it didn't even want to close in the back because of the arms area. I started cutting in all the tight spots and that didn't even help so I threw my double away. GOODBYE AND GOOD RIDDENS! So now I'm back to no dress form what so ever. Now what, home accessories, pet stuff, accessories and skirts. I might be able to do pants and shorts, I don't think I really need a double for that.

Now I'm back to the drawing board so to speak. I'm debating if I want to do another duct tape double. If I do decide to try that again, one major change, not to let the hubby help me. If I do relent to let him help me, I will make darn sure he follows the instructions I hand to him or else i'm gonna shove that roll of duct tape where the sun doesn't shine. I love my hubby but he doesn't listen for crap most of the time. I don't have a lot of money so I can't go and buy the fancy shmancy form that I can add padding to to get to my size and the commercial forms, well I can't afford those either and most of them don't even go up to my measurements. :( I just need to lose weight so I can get a dress form that will fit to my measurements. I hate my weight but I think there are some other underlying issues that has been making it hard for me to lose and keep the weight off.